A Time For Healing

I want to start this by saying that in no way do I expect this article to take away any pain people may be feeling about loss in their life . I do hope that this article can give some ways to cope and go day by day no matter what type of loss you are experiencing.   Although it is challenging to talk about this subject, it is very important to work on ways to help deal with the grief, no matter how little or much.

 There are a number of things that will help when dealing with grieving. The first is trying to stay on a schedule. This may not be your regular schedule, but to make sure you are showering every day at around a certain time. Often it is better when first awake, as it helps to get the day started. Next, get dressed. Staying in your pajamas only adds to the sadness you may be feeling. Getting dressed helps to get you in the mode of getting started with your day. The next thing that is helpful is to pick only three things that you will do in a single day. You may be thinking that you have a million things to do and don’t have the energy, or motivation to do any of them. It is better to do something no matter how small than not do anything at all. Ask yourself, “What am I willing to do?” Try not being hard on yourself if what you come up with is minor. Remember, you are going through something extremely difficult, so give yourself a break. You will get back to your normal functioning even though it feels like it will never come.  Doing things in your day helps you to reduce the constant thinking and distracts somewhat on how you feel. Having time to grieve is important, but trying to minimize the saturation of it throughout the day helps emotionally.

Ask for help! Take it easy on yourself.  This is hard for most people, but in times when you are having difficulty taking care of things you feel you cannot do, ask someone you can trust to help you.  When you are being challenged emotionally, you will end up feeling worse trying to manage everything on your own.

Even if you do not want to be around anyone, ask a friend or family member to be with you for some time in the day. This does not need to be a time of talking, but having someone there with you is a good way to be supported. It helps to feel a little less isolated. 

Getting outside each day is important to get fresh air and to get some exercise.  Getting your body moving, and getting fresh oxygen in is helpful to improve mood. Although the last thing you may want to do is exercise, ask yourself how long you are willing to be outside, maybe it is five minutes, maybe fifteen, whatever it is, it is ok. Something is better than nothing. You may surprise yourself by staying out longer than you thought. Bringing music or a book on Ipod is also helpful to keep you going. 

Take care of yourself. Drink plenty of water.  Eat foods that are natural and healthy for you. By eating and drinking healthy, it will reduce a physical toll on your body.  Take time to do things that you once enjoyed. Maybe it is reading, woodworking, bird watching, whatever it is, as long as it is positive.  Write about your thoughts, emotions, memories, understandings, or lack of. Give yourself extra time to get things done, and allow this of yourself.  Allow yourself time to cry, get angry, reflect, and give thanks for the time the person was in your life.  

Although these ways of coping will not take away all your grief, they will help you manage and get by day-to-day until things get easier. Until then ,take care and be well.


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